Sunday, 7 March 2010

Lost inside my own confusion

Well I've just woken up which will explain the slighlty more heart felt (or whiney) approach to this blog post. This project I'm doing is so difficult and because there is so much riding on it I am really feeling the pressure, so much so that I can hardly bare to be awake. I go to sleep to avoid thinking about it any longer. So far I've done 12 out of 22 photoshoot, some I really like and some I hate, some so much so that I want to reshoot them, but is there enough time to be thinking this? I've roughly got less than two weeks to get this done. That's 2 weeks to shoot 10-12 more images as well as finish editing them all, have them printed and mounted before the 19th of March is out.
The most difficult thing is that my corrispondence has dropped dramatically.
The other day when trying to organise shoots for this coming Wednesday, through Model Mayhem, and Facebook messages including a group based messages I would have sent out 200 messages. From that 200, I had 2 responces. That's 1%. You can imagine what a gut wrenching effect that would have. However I'm not giving up. I will try my hardest to get this done in the time. I've pulled it off so far, and I will continue to do so. I guess this is just goodbye to sleep.
I've had a lot of help from people, working as part of a team has really helped and I guess that is what this is all really about.
I still have unplanned images or images that have changed due to the circumstances and on top of that I haven't recieved the grant yet and my account is coming to zero. I'm going to fall short on my rent and will have to ask the bank to extend my overdraft tomorrow otherwise I don't know what I will do.
This project was about a lot of things and a lot of important things to me. Because it became so vast I lost some of that. Perhaps now for that final push as I fall into slight desperation I'll rememeber the reasons I started this projects and my initial intents.

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